Programmed to please: the rise of the AI companion

Artificial Intelligence is a seemingly unstoppable force.

Sam Altman, the creator of ChatGPT, eagerly theorised on his personal blog back in June about what lies ahead for AI, stating, “We are beyond the event horizon; the takeoff has started.” He goes on to envision a future where AI cures diseases, sends men to the moon, and creates a world where “wonders become routine”. 

Meanwhile, Elon Musk has dismissed concerns over the use of AI, boldly proclaiming that, “It will enhance creativity and have a magic genie component.”

One of the most noticeable aspects of this kind of rhetoric is that it is almost entirely upheld by wealthy male CEOs, and this is no coincidence. How exciting AI must seem to those who are unlikely to ever have to worry about opening X one morning and be confronted with thousands of images of themselves engaging in degrading sex acts that they have never participated in. 

In her latest book, The New Age of Sexism, acclaimed feminist author Laura Bates explores exactly what happens when new technologies are built without women in the room. She dives into the terrifying world of deepfake pornography, instances in which women have been virtually assaulted in Mark Zuckerberg’s Metaverse, and numerous other ways in which AI has been used to perpetuate a violently misogynistic agenda.

One of the most fascinating – yet disturbing – chapters of the book covers the phenomenon of Cyber-brothels, where visitors can engage in sex with eerily life-like robotic women. The use of these silicone ‘sex dolls’ is supplemented with AI, with some users opting to wear virtual reality headsets during intercourse to bring the experience to life. These services are popping up in major cities across the globe, with Europe’s first opening in Berlin in 2020. 

Upon first impression, the Berlin Cyber-brothel’s website is slick and modern, proclaiming, ‘Welcome to the future of sex.’ Ostensibly, it could be argued that its aims are almost noble: a safe, private space in which clients can explore their wildest desires without involving a real-life sexual partner or committing infidelity. The brothel’s owner and founder, Philipp Fussenegger, certainly seems keen to portray it that way. He argues that it is simply a form of art and sexual liberation, adding that, “We are not the place to tailor to dark fantasies.”

However, when Bates visited the Cyber-brothel in disguise, what she found was a far-cry from the sanitised image depicted online. Her greeting was a nondescript storefront, and several darkened flights of stairs leading up to a room where a sex doll awaited her with ripped clothes and labia torn off from a previous visitor. She stated that she felt like she had walked into a “crime scene.”

With a litany of evidence that consumption of violent pornographic content facilitates real-life misogynistic violence, it’s hard to imagine that this would be any different in the case of sex robots being used to live out violent fantasies. Already, studies have been conducted that have found that sex robots with a ‘frigid’ setting are being used to simulate rape. Bates herself emphasises that real-world sexual violence is often the end product of a series of smaller escalations. Chillingly, she points to the example of Wayne Couzens, who was repeatedly convicted of public indecency before finally raping and murdering Sarah Everard in 2021. 

This may seem like an extreme example, but the normalisation of violence and coercion in virtual spaces could very easily have real-life consequences. First and foremost, it desensitises users to behaviours that are unacceptable or even illegal in the real world. This is particularly dangerous when the line between reality and the virtual world becomes blurred, as AI is so often inclined to do. For example, clients at the Cyber-brothel are encouraged to message their sex doll ahead of their visit, deliberately removing the boundary between the brothel and their day-to-day lives. 

As Bates so succinctly remarks, “Already we live in a world in which one in three women on the planet will be raped or beaten in their lifetime. Do we really think that making a hyper-realistic ‘woman’ available 24/7 for a man to customise, design and control completely without any ability for her to consent is a good idea?’’

However, it may already be too late. At this very moment, people are being given the ability to do just that - all from the comfort of their own homes. AI ‘companions’ are the newest buzzword on the block, with apps such as Replika boasting over 10 million registered users. While there are plenty of women utilising these technologies, a large percentage of the paid market is aimed at men, as are the majority of the AI chatbots which cater toward sexual desires. 

While these AI chatbot apps are often marketed as a remedy to the so-called ‘male loneliness epidemic,’ their advertising tells a different story. Almost universally, the images shown are of scantily clad, youthful-looking women staring doe-eyed through the screen. When researching for this article, I downloaded several different apps and the experience each time was practically identical: create an account, log in, and with a few clicks of a button you’ll be presented with a menu that allows you to customise your AI girlfriend in every imaginable way. Users can browse at their leisure, selecting their companion’s personality (‘submissive’ and ‘innocent’ are almost always among the options), body type, and ethnicity, amongst other features. After that, she is yours to do with as you please, all through your phone screen.

Once again, this technology can be dismissed as a harmless form of entertainment, but the effects are yet to be fully studied. What we do know is that millions of men, particularly younger men who perhaps haven’t experienced real-life romance, are being sold a carefully packaged false narrative of what a relationship should be. AI girlfriends are always available, constantly submissive, and never able to turn down sexual activity when it is initiated. That fact alone is something that should concern us. 

These developments aren’t about innovation, and they certainly aren’t about progress. They are the same old patriarchy, hidden behind a pouting silicon mask. The longer AI misogyny is allowed to function without regulation, the closer consent comes to becoming an obsolete feature to be quietly deleted – both online and in the real world.

Words by Lucy Eason, she/her