‘Now get off your phone and do something with your life’ - The pressure to live life to the fullest

I used to read. I used to write plays, books, poems and articles. I used to run, I used to hike,

I used to sit through marathons of meaningful films remaining undistracted. I used to be

someone.

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot more about Sylvia Plath’s ‘Fig tree analogy’ from her novel,

‘The Bell Jar.’ This describes the speaker sitting before a fig tree, with each fig holding a

different future. As she takes longer and longer to choose which future, the figs begin to rot

and fall to her feet.

Should I marry my first love? Should I go explore the dating scene? Should I travel the

world? Should I get a full time job at my age and save for the future? There are so many

questions, and no answers.

Change is seen as a good thing. I don’t disagree. When I moved to Leeds a few months ago,

‘Change’ threw up all over me. Trying to be yourself when you don’t have time to think about

yourself is a useless task. I’ve tried to push myself to go out, to make friends, to find my

interests. I’ve tried hard to grow, as everyone says that this is the time to do so.

Over the last summer, I spent my days in my boyfriend’s house, watching show after show,

film after film, slowly letting myself sink deeper and deeper into the arms of his couch. I

thought that this was what I needed; an after exam hiatus from the stress of studying and

thinking. I was allowed to be lazy, but in doing so, a part of me disappeared. Even now as I

write: I’m struggling. It’s like my brain and abilities are out at sea somewhere in a box,

floating further and further away, and I find it harder and harder to apply my identity to a

certain path to go down.

Social media hasn’t helped. There is a hyper-focus on identity, seeing as we are all lost in

this massive web, whilst being exposed to pretty much the entire Western world. It’s hard to

be someone in a sea of millions, especially now that everything feels so magnetised. It all

stems from validity, and how we can prove to ourselves that our existence holds meaning.

There will always be someone your age doing something you haven’t even thought of doing. One is a

trad-wife with a baby, making cooking videos; one is on a gap year, travelling the world; or one is working

her way up in the business world, making vlogs of her busy yet ambitious 9–5.This point is placed more

prominently on women in this day and age, seeing as we are expected to do all of these things. To be a ‘Girl-boss,’ living an independent life whilst also being expected to find someone, settle down and juggle working whilst also being a full-time mother.

There is too much pressure placed on youth. Older generations who have forgotten what it is

like to be young and freshly placed into the world forget that they once also didn’t know who

they were, or what they were supposed to do. Some of them still don’t know.

I suppose I don’t have an answer - but I hope to find peace in not knowing. I’m sick of being

told to ‘do something’ – there’s too much to choose from, and too little time. I know I am not alone in

feeling this way, so I will find solace in that. We spend our lives always looking for what's next, and this

sense of urgency makes the little time we have even shorter.

So slow down, and remember, just being here is ‘doing something.’

Words by Libby Stern, she/her