When the Beautiful Game Turns Bitter: Wagatha Christie Reviewed

As the lights dimmed on LUU Theatre Group’s ‘Vardy VS Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial’ and Charli XCX’s ‘Girl, so confusing’ faded - a fitting opening statement - Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy lined up on their respective sides in the courtroom-meets-football-pitch stage. With a set blending tribunal formality with match-day chaos, commentators giving animated minute-by-minute analysis of the trial and football metaphors woven throughout the script, this production’s integration of footballing motifs felt both seamless and clever. 

The first half began with a thorough grilling of Vardy by Rooney’s barrister (Coco Morris-Dodd), who excellently remains cold and composed throughout. During this, Vardy’s bursts of adolescent petulance were met with fits of laughter by the audience. Monique Henry portrayed her perfectly, with the accompanying facial expressions (and sunglasses) of a natural diva. Her accomplice and agent, Caroline (Gracie Hale), added a mischievous edge to every moment with her playful antics and hysterical laugh. 

After half-time, the focus shifts to the opposition. Rooney’s calculated and poised demeanour is convincingly conveyed by Hattie Greaves as she is questioned by Vardy’s barrister, Mia Martini. WhatsApp exchanges, tweets, and Instagram captions are read out in the courtroom, serving as a reminder that this is not only a spat between two WAGs but a reflection of the petty ways evidence can unfold in the digital age. Wagatha Christie sparks discussion about social media, fame and the ugly mess that can result when they intersect, and a private feud turns to a public spectacle. 

Finally, the judge, having ditched traditional court robes for a referee’s jersey, delivers the final verdict in favour of Rooney. Vic Edwards was an audience favourite, leaving them amused each time he took the stage. 

Wickedly funny, masterfully executed and full of dramatic flair, Wagatha Christie is a triumph for LUU Theatre Group.

Words by Simran Radia, she/her