When Harry Met Sally, and Why We Still Love It

In the wake of the death of Rob Reiner, I can’t help but reflect on his most beloved film, When Harry Met Sally. I find myself coming back to it every time the leaves go brown, when the slump between Christmas and New Years hits, or whenever I need to believe in love again. Thirty-five years on, it remains a firm favourite and a testament to Reiner’s talent as a filmmaker.

For the minority that haven’t watched it before, the film follows Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan) during 20 years of their relationship, starting at the beginning of their adulthood, marked by their move from the University of Chicago, their alma mater, to New York. As they establish themselves as New Yorkers, they slowly become intertwined, eventually developing feelings for each other and having to deal with the consequences to their friendship. 

The whole film is filled with heart; it puts the rapport and chemistry at the forefront. The dialogue is pure wit, carving the characters and their personal quirks as totally charming. Reiner and screenwriter Nora Ephron are a total powerhouse duo in the film, creating an evolution between the characters that feels totally real, so much so that you look past Billy Crystal playing a 20-year-old past his fortieth birthday. The film is filled with iconic elements: the diner scene, Harry’s New Year confession, and its everlasting ability to spark debates on whether or not men and women can truly be friends.

Love is steeped into the DNA of the film, even beyond the screenplay and its main characters. Not only did the movie take its shape as a rom-com after Reiner himself fell in love with his wife Michele on set, but the testimonials of real-life couples, my personal favourite element, create a sense of authenticity that couldn’t be replicated. The pairs’ inside jokes and love stories, which have been rehearsed from years of retelling their stories, take the themes of the film even further. It reminds us that we are all entitled to our own rom-com stories: even if what happens to Harry and Sally might be magical, it is also an everyday reality. 

On top of all this, the film exudes pure style. The gorgeous 35mm film is used with a care that creates a cosy haze running through the film, and the long shots show off stunning New York scenery effortlessly. Everything in the film looks so authentic and natural, you immerse yourself in the surroundings without noticing at first the care that went into every shot. The picture might not be stylistically ambitious, but it definitely is artful, and it makes you want to cosy up and relax.

When Harry Met Sally is a testament to a time past in Hollywood’s landscape. Whilst the industry continues to churn out rom-coms with bland cinematography, flashy settings and protagonists that are entirely ‘thirst-worthy’, I will keep retreating back to New York. I will continue laughing as Sally orders salads with the same level of precision I find in myself, and smiling as I watch the gazes they share turn from resentful to loving throughout the film. Reiner builds a beautiful world, inhabited by imperfect charm and characters we can all relate to. With his passing, I will grieve his warmth, beautifully channelled into this undoubted classic.

Rest in Peace, Rob and Michele Reiner.

Words by Lauren Winstanley, she/her

When Harry Met Sally, dir. Rob Reiner