Should We Forgive the Ladies Man? ‘Death of a Ladies Man’ by Leonard Cohen and its Exploration of the Complex Archetype.

When you hear the words ‘Ladies Man’, what comes to mind? Does the image of someone in the media appear to you, or perhaps a familiar face? If it is the latter, and some rather unfavourable experiences flood back to you, I want to ask you a question: do you forgive them? 

‘Death of a Ladies Man’ by Leonard Cohen offers a complex, empathetic yet unflattering perspective of the archetype. The song’s slow and hypnotic rhythm makes you cling onto every word that Cohen sings. Like all of his songs, the use of his poetic lyricism is what drives his music into a different realm, with this song landing somewhere inconceivable; perhaps “to that other star” that is referred to in the ending. The song narrates the failing relationship between a woman and a ladies man, where the man cannot give her the love that she desires. He offers her “an orgy in a many mirrored room” and promises her “protection for the issue of her womb”. She kneels, prays and begs for him to devote himself to her, yet is met with a twisted, and lustful mimicry of love. At its core the song is about love, or rather a man who doesn’t know what love is. 

It's hard to forgive someone whose twisted perception of love has, in turn, warped your own perspective. But the beauty of ‘Death of a Ladies Man’ lies in the fact that there are no heroes or villains. The song dwells beautifully in the hazy, boundless vagueness of the grey area. No one is right or wrong, which is why this song is so much more painful. We love to imagine life as a fairy tale; It would be so much easier to have a clear antagonist, and protagonist. But it’s not like that. Cohen crafts the character of the ladies man as a man with extreme depth, unable to love due to extreme trauma. 

Of course, many songs rely on the interpretation of the listener. However, I strongly believe that the ladies man created by Cohen is a holocaust survivor, as hinted at through “his muscles, they were numbered” (referring to the numbers tattooed on prisoners in the concentration camps), and “all his virtues burning in the smoky holocaust”. His virtues burning may refer to any preconceived ideas of morality and love being completely eradicated, due to the sheer lack of it shown to him during his time possibly spent in a concentration camp or under Nazi rule. Although this trauma is inconceivable to anyone who has not experienced it, it made me reconsider the scale of the impact that trauma can have on individuals when it comes to the subject of love, and how it can pass through generations. 

I thought back to a book I studied last year about the effects of generational trauma in relation to slavery called ‘At the Full and Change of the Moon’ by Dionne Brand. Each chapter focuses on a different person, all of whom were related to Bola, the daughter of a slave who had committed a mass suicide in response to the cruelty of slavery. Each character has their own struggles, yet I noticed a common theme: They were all unable to understand love. One of them could not love strongly enough and another loved too much, reaching a point of obsession. 

Perhaps it was due to the timeline of reading this book, and discovering ‘Death of a Ladies Man’ that I found myself to feel so empathetic towards the otherwise hated character of the uncommitted ‘player’. I’m not writing this to excuse the actions of men who feel it is acceptable to lead women on, and make them feel belittled, however I am doing so to continuously prove that nothing is black and white. Don’t position a man, or anyone like this, in a place of power, where you see them as untouchable and God-like. They are this way for a reason. Remove the power by seeing that they are just as human as you are, and how the concept of love will destroy, nurture and confuse all of us - even the 'Ladies Man'.

Words by Libby Stern, she/her