i need a good cry

A poem by Sam Cooke

secrecy and lies

and hatred and lies

what is up

what the fuck is up with my mind

out my window i see the whole world

and everything means the whole world

and my world means nothing

and i can’t communicate it

i sound disturbed.

little shakes little blinks little nods of the head

and ‘they hate me they hate me’ ‘they never even cared’

how do i purge it

how can i rid it

the black hole in my self

‘pills’ll kill it kid’

okay

…

?

but

that doesn’t stop my

bad decisions hurtful habits

i can’t stop asking why

can’t stop getting high

wont’ read replies

wont say goodbye; it means too much

pulling my hair

I keep going back

touching her thigh

lies lies lies

can’t even cry

when will this end when can I

i wont i cant i shouldn’t deny

its how i get by

if this counts

through secrecy and lies

---

Words: Sam Cooke

Artwork: @Sabasiddiqui_art // @esmee_not_esmay